December 24, 2008
Perhaps it's a good thing not everyone is connected!
'Twas the Night Before Christmas
by Jason L.
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
no devices were running, not even my mouse!
The blizzard had swept through the town an ice shower,
it had thrashed, it had crashed, we had all lost our power!
I was sitting there weeping with my mind full of dread,
when a great revelation popped in my head!
My BlackBerry, my BlackBerry...on 24/7,
it was my salvation, my new glimpse of heaven!
I leaped from my chair with a great sense of joy,
Christmas may be for children, but I had my toy!
With instant push email, a browser, and flash,
it was the most prized possession of my electronic stash!
My eyes lit up brightly as they fell down upon it,
I know it's an object, but I always did fawn it!
When, what to my glimmering sight should appear,
an email, a text, my eye shed a tear!
My night was not ruined, my nightmare deflected,
I knew in a moment, I was always connected!
I unwrapped my "sword" from its tight leather sheath,
and I whistled, and shouted, and gritted my teeth!
"I love you! I love you! My glorious BlackBerry!
I love you! I love you! My Christmas is merry!"
Open browser, open menu, and enter address,
to crackberry.com, joyous, God bless!"
The page began loading, the bar filled with blue,
I was filled with excitement knowing not what to do!
Like the Garden of Eden or lands milk and honey,
CrackBerry was my paradise, treasures greater than money!
With forums, and blogs, and up-to-date news,
it serves every person from Christians to Jews!
No matter what your religion or winter tradition,
crackberry.com brings all to fruition!
With tons of free goodies like ringtones and themes,
crackberry.com is more than it seems!
A central help center when your service is stopping,
or a bountiful warehouse for holiday shopping!
Wallpapers, skins, and cases to carry,
chargers, and cradles, and Bluetooths, how merry!
Forget hand-sewn sweaters, no fruitcakes, no more,
Don't need two front teeth just the Crackberry store!
After hours of surfing that wonderful site,
I bade my farewell and said my goodnight!
Put on my pajamas and I crept into bed,
while visions of BlackBerrys danced through my head!
I pulled up the covers and drifted to sleep,
praying the heavens my smartphone to keep!
A last roaming thought of my BlackBerry chum,
I knew in the night Kris Kringle would come!
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
and filled all the stockings then turned with a jerk!
Ring-a-ling, ring-a-ling came a noise from his sleigh,
I woke up quite suddenly and heard Santa say,
"Yes Mrs. Claus I'll be home around dawn, and please stop worrying, my GPS's on!"
And away Santa flew like the down of a thistle,
but I heard him exclaim, and his BlackBerry whistle,
"Even Santa's connected and always doth carry, not magic, not Rudolph, but his faithful BlackBerry!"